futur???

still......
i did it again....
eventhough You r sooo kind..
but still............
i did it again.........
i've already know that............
You HATE people that reminding people of U but we ourselves did not do what we ask anybody else to do it... (61:2-3)
ya Allah.........
U r TOO kind 4 me....
when will i change my attitude upon U...........
do i deserve to even call U my lover????
Ya Allah....
PLIZ........
dont ever let me be away from U............
promise that U will alwaz be by my side............
i know that im a very sinful person..........
i dont deserve to be ur servant..........
ungrateful servant........
yea........
that is me...............
I LOVE U, ALLAH..............
but why am i still futur upon U???
sometimes feel that U better let me die....
but im afraid to confront with U........
dont know what to say whenever ur malaikat ask me........
what did i do on UR earth.........

O myself.......
why did u alwaz be like this.........
pliz dont ever do that again....
u r only let urself be in His HELL!!!!!!!!!!!
n it is FOREVER if u keep doing this.....
pliz be strong dear........
i know that it is apart of urself that u have to sacrifice....
but only for awhile.........
dont let ur lust be ur LOVER!!!!
the time duration that u have on His earth is only for a short term..........
just be patient for the time left......
He had already give u a sec chance........
a chance to repent..
as u still alive..........
FASTABIQUKHAIRAT!!!!!!!!! (al-baqarah)
(lets compete for kindness)