.::ENOUGH::.

assalamualaikum..
memang da lame x tulis kat cni...
byk state diri yg dilalui sepanjang mase sengkang bile x menulis kat blog nh..
and alhamdulillah...
i manage to get not an excel but a good result for IB...
and it is not due to my effort pown...
memang saje je Allah nak bagi..
so that i can still be with Him..
maybe if i get a lower result i will be astray..
hhmmm..
this moment when i tell you bout my result, its remind me of my prevoius achievement in academics...
i pass for PTS during standard 3..
i get 5As in UPSR...
i get 9As in PMR....
i get 10As and 1B in SPM...
and now i get 36 pts in IB....

so many things that He gave me...
subhanallah...
He keep tracking me whenever and wherever i am...
macam sentiasa nak tarik gak aku ni walaupun ade je mase2 yg aku memang x engat pown kat Dye...
baek sgt la Allah nh...
act, sape yg nak bwat baek ni...
aku da la hamba dye...
x layak pown nak meminta-minta...
hamba mane leh demand btol x???
kena ikut je perintah...
the problem is....
nak settle n sematkan term hamba dalam diri pown mission x accomplish...
tapi Dye asyik bagi nikmat byk sgt...
makan pown maseh bole makan...
kesihatan pown ok...
udara pown dapat hirup..
and everything is free....
x datang pown bil oxygen ke, nyawa ke, jantung ke, lung ke, buah pinggang ke...
free belaka....
kalo fikir2 balek pown banyak je benda yg Dye bagi kalo kite x senasib...

soooo....................
ape yg nak dibuat seterusnye?????????????

"belum tibakah waktunya bagi org2 yg beriman untuk SECARA KHUSYUK mengingat Allah dan MEMATUHI KEBENARAN yg telah diwahyukan" ALHADID,ayat 16, 57:16

cukup2 la dgn benda2 yg karut marut yg x menambahkan iman pown...
kite x dapat lari...
sebab in the end...
kite akan balek kpd Dye gak...
kite akan balek jumpe Dye...
it is a fact n adalah suatu KEPASTIAN!!!!
ayuh!!!!!!!!
recharge ur iman!!!!!
together to overcome all of His trials and meet Him in JANNAH!!!
doakan saye sentiasa tsabat di jalan nh!!!!

who's my god????

assalamualaikum...
i know.. it has been a long time...
nice to meet u....
hope that all of us will alwaz receive His blessing...
realise all of His love that He give every single moment event now....
realise that we wake up this morning as His slave...
realise that our IC still written as muslim...
realise that we are consuming His oxygen...
realise that we can do all sort of things only by His permission...
Astaghfirullah....
lets take a moment to istighfar...
astaghfirullah..... astaghfirullah......astaghfirullah...

now i realise that im still alive...
by His permission....
to repent and go back to Him...
yes....
Life is a battle to find our journey back home.....
Home?????
yes.....
home......
to His bare arm.....
back to Him......
the word is BACK......
meaning.....
back.................
so what?????????

if we are not following His rules....
means we are not in our natural behaviour or what did we called as fitrah....
yes..........

well......
IB diploma exam is just 8 days left....
how sad....
i can still count my exam..
but i cannot count how many days do my days will be there for me...
funny, right???
we r keep ourself busy ALMOST 24 hours to focus on study....
but our prayer is only 25 minutes for each solah...
zohor, asar, maghrib, isyak n subuh.....
(that's only if we perform our each solah 5 minutes)
dont get me wrong...
im not saying that lets leave our study behind and JUST SOLAT!!!
DONT GET ME WRONG, OKAY!!!!
study is one way of ibadah....
to bring islam back....
to bring islam's dignity back....
....................
.......................
how to let our study as an ibadah?????
hmmmm........
cube tanye org...
study sebab ape....
duit???
cita2???
family???
nak status???
cinta???
if semua benda ni da tercapai, then kita da bole mati la ek??
for instance, if kite study tok dapat kesenangan, then bile da rase senang later in the future, kite da bole mati la ek???
sebab cita2 n harapan da tercapai....
gitu???
hhhmmmmmm.......
maybe later kite akan kupas dgn lebih mendalam cane nak study untuk Allah...
u said everyday in doa qunut that INNASOLATI WANUSUKI WAMAHYAYA WAMAMATI LILLAHIRABBILALAMIN..... sesungguhnya solatku, amalanku,hidupku, matiku hanya untuk Allah... tapi camno lak nak buwek????
hhmmmmm....
later kite discuss ek...
tapi jgn lupe pikir2 kan.....

just at the moment i just want us to focus about something....
bout who's my god???
of course Allah...
ko ni tanye tah pape tah...
aku solat kowt....
maybe this is one of the answer that u may give to me...
but really????????
Allah is ur God???

cuba kalo diberi situasi...
mock IB ri tu la contoh...
or kalo ade test or exam sem...
tetibe....
kite tetido awal lak malam 2h....
then when we wake up that morning...
its still 4 in the morning....
the Q is...
wat is ur step after that???
a)eat??
b)grab the book???
c)proceed with ur dream???
d)qiam???
hhmmmm...........
u said qiam???
think back...
mostly even me....
will just grab my book.....
and right at that moment my god is 'the book'....
get me????
aku sembah buku waktu 2...
bukannye Allah...
susah nak ingat Dye waktu2 camtu...
x yakin ke ape ek???
tapi bukan nak suruh tinggal buku ek...
jgn salah paham lak...
kang t org kate azza suruh x yah bace buku..
sebab Allah suruh solat 24 jam...
pang sat gi baru taw!!!!
okla...
till pen meets paper...

huh???
ade gune pen ke???
paper??
huhhu!~
assalamualaikummm...
kalo ade kemusykilan bole la tinggalkan soklan ek....

STOP!!!!

still...
having d same probs...
how to only having U in my heart....

hhmmmm.....
IB exam is around d corner...
i have to speed my move for my sisters......
too many things that i still want to say...
too many knowledge about Him that i did not share yet.....

hhmmmmm..................
and yet....

im still have to struggle....
with all of my effort.....
to ELIMINATE this JAHILIYYAH......
pliz.. Allah...
im begging U....
guide me.....
dont let me astray....

i dont wanna be in the mud...
like what Syed Qutb said...
i dont wanna be in dirty faeces...
uweekkk............
PLIZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!

'only by remembering U i will be in peace'
(13:28)

im still drowning in these JAHILIYAH!!!!!!
arrgghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

JAHILIYAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thank U, my love!!!!

bismillahirrahmanirrahim....
assalamualaikumwarahmatullahiwabarakatuh..............
alhamdulillah....
the IB result had came out, right???
and for me it is not a good one compared to others...
hehe....
but still...
alhamdulillah....
we are still having the chance to enjoy the magnificence of this wonderful world of His....
in fact, bcoz of His love and rahmah towards us, we can still even breath...
we can see things....
we can hold something....
we can walk....
we can read...
we can hear...
we use His oxygen....
we consume His food from His plant....
we can do so much thing that we want....
but the question is.....
do we receive any kind of bill from Him every month...
or everyday???
how much does it cost????
rm200???
rm20000???
or rm200000000????
answer this question on your own....

and next....
we go to the second question....
do we use all of His nikmat....
we can see things....
we can hold something....
we can walk....
we can read...
we can hear...
we use His oxygen....
we consume His food from His plant....
according to His law and rules????
do we do things in order to obtain His redha????

hhmmmmmmm...........

just wanna share something.......
before this....
i really dont really care about study...
you know what???
i even whine bcoz He ask me to amar makruf nahi munkar...
but at the same time He ask me to be excellent in academics....
i was like...
ya Allah...
how could You do this to me???
there are plenty of time that i can do to entertain my target of Your amar makruf nahi munkar....
why must You want me to keep busy with this so-called-important-stage-of-life-is-to-study????
i know that it is just a medium for us to attract people to amar makruf nahi munkar once we are already have the dr. title....
but still...
hmmmm............

but now i know and understand perfectly....
Allah...
forgive me....
i know that islam is great...
i must show it to the world by be one myself....
i must be excellent in academics...
dont be a fitnah to my din....
islam is great...
(islam hebat!!!)

on top of that.....
O myself....
please...
remember who you are...
you are just His servant...
not a coolie....
wanna know the differences????

COOLIE

1) must be paid
2) has his own worktime
3) can argue about his payment

SERVANT

1) no money paid
2) worktime is every single sec of his life
3) cant argue about his payment bcoz he dont has salary

cool, huh???
we are more in a lower status than coolie...
hahaha...
is it funny???
have u watch or heard about servant during the jahiliyah era???
era at mecca before Muhammad came???
many women had been made as servants...
and what that they can do???
their owner can do anything upon them...
they can hit them...
they can sell them to another owner..
they can rape them...
or even make money by do a prostitution bussines...

and how do all the servants survive???
can they say something??
can they do the same to their owner??
can they be angry to their owner???
the answer is no.....

reflection:
now back to our story..
what about us?????

im going to give a statement...
we are HIS SERVANT....
conclusion- what we should do???
can we argue things with Him???
can we be sad of His nikmat??
can we be dissapointed upon Him???
can we be jealous upon Him???
can we be lazy upon Him??
the answer is................
...........................
...........................
fill in the blank..........
answer this question deep inside your heart....

we are JUST His servant....
a servant need to be alwaz agree and do whatever our owner ask us to do...
and He can make up any regulations that He want becoz we are only borrowing all of His assets....
borrowing what????
our brain...
our hands...
our eyes....
our legs....
out mouth....
our niat...
even our soul...
..........
...........
...........
eh....
then...
what is mine???


the answer is....
..............
...............
...............

NOTHING!!!!!!!
nothing......
isy isy isy...
kesian........
org miskin rupenye....
eh...
bukan org miskin...
memang x termasuk dlm apa2 golongan...
bcoz even the poor people can walk, talk, ask for money....
aiyak...

then...
are we not ashame with HIM????
hmmmmm........................


reminder:::::::
the death is chasing for u.. and it is certain for the time to come....
watch out!!!!!!

next action????
i'll do anything for U...
just for U...
bcoz i am YOUR servant...
.........................
..........................
...........................
..........full stop...........

..::every single sec counts::..

assalamualaikum...
today.....
wat i wanna write is more about myself...
and its a kind of reminder for me especially.....

its a long holiday...
and to be honest...
i hate holidays.....
why???
cause my relationship with Him usually will become weaker...
and during those days...
shaytan will put its fullest effort to keep me away from Him...
hope that they will sent only a prebet shaytan for me...
cause i know...
i will not be strong enough to withstand a coperal shaytan...
and i am determined that im going to confront with them later...
as time goes by...
i will make my faith in U strong!!!

i know....
it is the same U when im in KMB or home...
it is the same love that i get....
U let me breath...
U let me eat....
U let me see the world...
U let me live one more day to give me chance and repent...
U even let my hands move and type this thing...
it is all becoz of UR love to me...
i know...
but still....
i alwaz forgot U...
and U....
alwaz remember me...
by letting me do everything listed above...
by letting me do watever i want...
even letting me betray U....
in hope that i will come back to UR arms...

*sigh*

o....
myself...
r u not AFRAID of HIS HELL??????
do u think that all of His reminder in Quran are just plain jokes????

come on baby...
back to the right path...
dont let urself jump into the monies again....

He has so many servants..
and all of them are persuing His love..
why dont u want to compete with them???
come on!!!
wake up!!!!!!
wake up from UR ALMOST-REAL-DREAM!!!!
in the end...
u will meet Him...
and what kind of love do you want to show Him??
what kind of ibadah do u want to present to HIM??
dont be like Qabil....
He will not accept ur rotten ibadah..
so dirty and smelly....
so ugly.....
even u cannot stand to be by ur amalan together in the grave...
with u...

remember 3:9
ali imran: verse 9

"He will keep His promise!!!!"

and remember...
every single sec counts....
wat did u do..
or u r doing..
counted for the hereafter day..
for the JUDGEMENT DAY!!!!!

(SETIAP DETIK DIHISAB)

FLY ME TO THE MOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fly me to the moon
and let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On jupiter and mars
In other words,
hold my hand
In other words,
Darling take me
Fill my heart with You
and let me love for ever more
You are all I long for
All I worship and adore
In other words,
please be true
In other words,
I love YOU.....
........
........
........

doubt???

i dont know how to start with.......
i'm too bad...
bad girl.....
bad daughter....
im a bad person...
bad servant....

i cant even think only U..
how can U alwaz think about me when im not thinking of U??
O Allah...
pliz..
let me feel UR love once more...
and i will hold onto it...
will hold onto it...

hold it to U like what i did to that Korean idol...
hold onto U like what i did to those TV shows...
hold onto U like what i did to that Japan dramas....

no... no...no.......

i will keep on to U more than all these and those things in this world..
pliz...
i really need UR love...
im begging U....
dont let me be where U cant see me as UR precious....
can i be UR love one????
eventhough i admit that im no good to U compared to Muhammad..
compared to Aisyah...
compared to Khalid al-Walid....
compared to all sahabat..
compared to Hassan al-Banna...
compared to Syed Qutb........

PLEASEEEEE..........
return me back to where i am........
to UR arms.....
.............
............
.......
......