..::every single sec counts::..

assalamualaikum...
today.....
wat i wanna write is more about myself...
and its a kind of reminder for me especially.....

its a long holiday...
and to be honest...
i hate holidays.....
why???
cause my relationship with Him usually will become weaker...
and during those days...
shaytan will put its fullest effort to keep me away from Him...
hope that they will sent only a prebet shaytan for me...
cause i know...
i will not be strong enough to withstand a coperal shaytan...
and i am determined that im going to confront with them later...
as time goes by...
i will make my faith in U strong!!!

i know....
it is the same U when im in KMB or home...
it is the same love that i get....
U let me breath...
U let me eat....
U let me see the world...
U let me live one more day to give me chance and repent...
U even let my hands move and type this thing...
it is all becoz of UR love to me...
i know...
but still....
i alwaz forgot U...
and U....
alwaz remember me...
by letting me do everything listed above...
by letting me do watever i want...
even letting me betray U....
in hope that i will come back to UR arms...

*sigh*

o....
myself...
r u not AFRAID of HIS HELL??????
do u think that all of His reminder in Quran are just plain jokes????

come on baby...
back to the right path...
dont let urself jump into the monies again....

He has so many servants..
and all of them are persuing His love..
why dont u want to compete with them???
come on!!!
wake up!!!!!!
wake up from UR ALMOST-REAL-DREAM!!!!
in the end...
u will meet Him...
and what kind of love do you want to show Him??
what kind of ibadah do u want to present to HIM??
dont be like Qabil....
He will not accept ur rotten ibadah..
so dirty and smelly....
so ugly.....
even u cannot stand to be by ur amalan together in the grave...
with u...

remember 3:9
ali imran: verse 9

"He will keep His promise!!!!"

and remember...
every single sec counts....
wat did u do..
or u r doing..
counted for the hereafter day..
for the JUDGEMENT DAY!!!!!

(SETIAP DETIK DIHISAB)

FLY ME TO THE MOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fly me to the moon
and let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On jupiter and mars
In other words,
hold my hand
In other words,
Darling take me
Fill my heart with You
and let me love for ever more
You are all I long for
All I worship and adore
In other words,
please be true
In other words,
I love YOU.....
........
........
........

doubt???

i dont know how to start with.......
i'm too bad...
bad girl.....
bad daughter....
im a bad person...
bad servant....

i cant even think only U..
how can U alwaz think about me when im not thinking of U??
O Allah...
pliz..
let me feel UR love once more...
and i will hold onto it...
will hold onto it...

hold it to U like what i did to that Korean idol...
hold onto U like what i did to those TV shows...
hold onto U like what i did to that Japan dramas....

no... no...no.......

i will keep on to U more than all these and those things in this world..
pliz...
i really need UR love...
im begging U....
dont let me be where U cant see me as UR precious....
can i be UR love one????
eventhough i admit that im no good to U compared to Muhammad..
compared to Aisyah...
compared to Khalid al-Walid....
compared to all sahabat..
compared to Hassan al-Banna...
compared to Syed Qutb........

PLEASEEEEE..........
return me back to where i am........
to UR arms.....
.............
............
.......
......

..::a moment on earth::..

assalamualaikum......
sorry 4 d silent period of time....
hehehe....
how's ur iman???
OK or KO????
opsss.....
nauzubillah.....
insyaAllah we are still in His heart.....
like what He said in Surah Ar Rahman:31
" We will ALWAZ pay a full attention to all of U, O mankind and jin"
HE alwaz gonna remember us...
then...
a question that we can extract out from the above statement is....
"HOW FAR DO WE KEEP A FULL ATTENTION UPON HIM LIKE WHAT HE DID TOWARDS US?"

krik....krik.....krik..............

seems like there is sound of crickets....(cengkerik)
hehehe........

yesterday is the day that i learn new thing......
new understanding.....
for me..............
act, it is not a new understanding.....
it is just that i am new to this understanding.......

*flashback*

time:3 pm
venue: somewhere around pak guard's house

all of us (M09C) are waiting for any vehicles that are going to pick us up to meet teacher fauziah in bagan lalang....
and then........
i notice that i cant hear anything whenever i wanna call somebody using my latest handphone...
i only can texting.....
that's the end of first tragedy....

time:4.30 pm
venue: somewhere around sg pelek

our unique vannette broke down...
all of us were stuck at the middle of the road with many of cars behind us keep beeping their hon....
as the result..
we have to pull over our van to the other side of the road so that we are not blocking the way......
end of second tragedy....

a bit later...
i text my sister to ask about my phone and she suggest me to turn off and on my phone again ...
i did and later on i can hear someone talking when i call my sister...
alhamdulillah...
i quickly call my mother and suddenly she said that my grandmother was gone at 3 pm today..
TODAY!!!....
while im waiting for the van...
i dont know how to react....
end of third tragedy......

SELF-REFLECTION:
feel like filling in CAS form....
aiyak....

i learn something..
and u know what??
i learn that everything that we plan is only a plan...
all of the journey on completing what we had already plan is all depends on Him...
the night before...
we are just planning to visit teacher fauziah and...
of course we do imagine that after econs paper,
we will go straight to teacher's house...
imagining a very perfect day...
and of course without the breakdown of my handphone...
without breakdown of the van...
without pushing the van aside by ourselves..
without knowing that my grandmother was going to leave us..
at that moment....

i think back....
everything will end with Allah....
no matter how perfect our plan is....
Allah is the one that will be responsible to make our plan comes true or even only a failure plan..
hmm...
i just realise that...
subhanallah..
how can i forgot U????

...................

..................
................
.................
think that u can entertain urself??
with all this stuff in this world???
till u forgot.....
that it is HIS world.......
till u forgot......
u have a mission to be accomplished........
to be His servant..........

wat r u rite now??
u claim that u have ur own life???
even the truth is it is His life??
His soul??
He only lend u His..

come back to the right path, dear...
dont ever astray upon Him....
bcoz u have nothing..........
NOTHING............
...............
...............
fullstop

futur???

still......
i did it again....
eventhough You r sooo kind..
but still............
i did it again.........
i've already know that............
You HATE people that reminding people of U but we ourselves did not do what we ask anybody else to do it... (61:2-3)
ya Allah.........
U r TOO kind 4 me....
when will i change my attitude upon U...........
do i deserve to even call U my lover????
Ya Allah....
PLIZ........
dont ever let me be away from U............
promise that U will alwaz be by my side............
i know that im a very sinful person..........
i dont deserve to be ur servant..........
ungrateful servant........
yea........
that is me...............
I LOVE U, ALLAH..............
but why am i still futur upon U???
sometimes feel that U better let me die....
but im afraid to confront with U........
dont know what to say whenever ur malaikat ask me........
what did i do on UR earth.........

O myself.......
why did u alwaz be like this.........
pliz dont ever do that again....
u r only let urself be in His HELL!!!!!!!!!!!
n it is FOREVER if u keep doing this.....
pliz be strong dear........
i know that it is apart of urself that u have to sacrifice....
but only for awhile.........
dont let ur lust be ur LOVER!!!!
the time duration that u have on His earth is only for a short term..........
just be patient for the time left......
He had already give u a sec chance........
a chance to repent..
as u still alive..........
FASTABIQUKHAIRAT!!!!!!!!! (al-baqarah)
(lets compete for kindness)

JEALOUS????

it was 5.50 am.....
thanks to one of my friends that wake me up for a Suboh prayer....
and with the strength that had been given by Him...
i managed to wake up.....
and with a bit sleepy state of mind......
i went upstairs to surau...
and like always....
about 5 people of my block had already with their prayer clothes...
i put down my prayer cloth in surau and went outside to take my wudhu'...
and when it was the moment when i wanted to turn on the tap water....
there was no water coming out....
and it was kind of weird as there was a girl beside me...
taking her wudu'....
and of course with running water coming out from the next tap water of mine....

cant this pipe be used?

eh, usually we can use it.. maybe the water will come out a bit later

and right after that......
i smile................

i know...........
hik3...........
HE is very jealous.........
hehe



*flashback*

time: bout 1.00 am
venue: somewhere in our block
people involved: me and 4 friends of mine

one of my friend share with us bout something....
thing that we usually did not realise but we always do that...
thanks to her...

actually... what we wanna do... it must because of Him.. do not ever do something not based of Allah's rules.... even when we turn on a tap water, we must believe that the water will come out because of Allah who wanna give us the gift of water to us and not the pipe.... because usually when we turn on the tap water we will confidently said that the water will coming out because i turn on the pipe... do u get me???

and with a deep thought we agree what had been said by her.....

*back to the future*


i smile becoz i forgot to said bismillah....
to remember HIM.....
and after that....
i said.............
BISMILLAHIRRAHMANIRRAHIM...........

and becoz of His love upon me.....
the water running down.......and...
i still can take my wudhu' and had our dating for that morning in jemaah.....

He is really jealous.........
even a sec we do not remember Him..........
He will make u do that......

LOVE U, ALLAH!!!!!!!!

LOVE EPISODE WITH HIM.........

at that time, i was on the trip to BALAI SENI LUKIS NEGARA and KLCC....
this situation happened in Masjid KLIA.....
hik3....:->
act, i'm really shy to share this moment with all of you...
but still...
i wanna share it too....

*flashback*
everyone was ready to grab their own lunch at that time....
we're gonna have chicken!!!!!
yeah!!!!
but then...
i saw one of my friend was a bit choosy..
she wanna pick her favourite chicken before anyone could probably take hers...
and then...
one thing that was crossing my mind...
why dont if i do that also?
hehehe
*devil laugh*

then a small angel beside my head said that i should not be choosy...
HE had already choose the best and right REZKI or gift for you...

so...i changed my mind....
i just took any polysterine that i could reach at that time....

and to my surprise..
i get my favourite chicken....
hehehe
*angel laugh*
HE HEARD MY WISH....who??
who else????
my love..hehe...

but then...
i ACCIDENTALLY announced that i have that particular part of chicken..
and suddenly my friend wanna ask for an exchange...

isk3..
i almost cried..
but only in my heart...
and with my sincerest smile.....
i gave my FAVOURITE chicken to her....
hmmmm....

.................

...................

a mood of disappointment.......

aiyak................

i just proceed eating my meal....
and somehow, i wish that she could give me a little bit of that part of my favourite chicken....

and right after the moment i said that....
suddenly i saw a little bit of part of my favourite chicken was in my food polysterine....
hehehe
*angelic laugh*
really....

i have already told you....
HE DO LOVE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
toing...............toing..............toing.....................
*a-wanna-jump-due-to-a-very-excited-state-of-feeling sound*
hik3......

currently listening to WITHOUT YOU... by SAMI YUSUF.....
really suit the atmosphere....

that is MY love story...................
wat about you??????????????

.::AZZA FARIHA::..

assalamualaikum...
just wanna share....
yesterday..... He prove it to me once again...
actually, i always know that He always do that..
do what??

loving me....
eventhough i am nobody compared to others..
just imagine... He has lots more lovers of His to be entertained with...
and yet He still chose me..
sometimes.......
just feel that i am not deserve this....
i am not good enough to receive and enjoy the spice of His love upon me....
but still He always DO love me...

Every single moment He is always busy(29) Yet I am ALWAYS pay a full attention just for you(31)

(Ar-Rahman)

just wanna share with you..
how He shows His love...

last week was my hectic week..
busy with my siblings...
my beloved sisters...
and InsyaAllah all of my effort was just for Him..
to build each of my sisters as His love seekers..
InsyaAllah...
it's just that i am busy fulfilling my time just for Him InsyaAllah..
till i did not had much time for assignments...
Bio Lab Reports....
Chem Lab Reports...
and especially my Extended Essay....
seems like my days ruined with unfinished matters...
i was too depressed at that time...
but somehow..
there was a voice in my mind saying that His Promises are always true!!!!
and suddenly i remember..
that is the repeated verses in surah Ar-Rahman...

For all of His Gifts, which one that you want to deny??

lots of time He said that..
and i was determined that He will help me out...
and alhamdulillah...
miracles made by my lover happened..
and somehow the deadlines to pass up all of my assignments delayed...
and yesterday.....
=) =) =) =) =)
YESTERDAY....
finally i had finished my EE...
at nearly dawn.....
and i know He is here beside me...
without hesitating...
He kept giving strength to finish up my EE...
and at 9.40 am at school...
i had already printed out my so-called EE....
Alhamdulillah...
praise be to my lover....
if not becoz of Him...
maybe i am not be able to even walk to class and sent my EE...

and comes to the peak of the story...hehe
actually...
i am really nervous to face my supervisor....
and He assists me with the willingness of my sahabat (beloved friends)
to accompany me and send my EE to my teacher...
i am too afraid...
as it is such a long time since i did not meet my teacher...
and at that time..
that moment...
He loves me....insyaAllah...

i am sorry, teacher... i am just wanna send my EE...

and you wanna know she said???

ok.... just put it there...

PRAISE BE TO ALLAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
suddenly i heard a voice said that all of man's hearts belongs to Him and only He can decide what they wanna feel....
Subhanallah...
how can i forgot about that???
He is the one that hold our hearts...
He is the ALMIGHTY....
and immediately another verse came across my head..

if He helps you, then nobody could bring you down

(ali imran;160)

and He only helps me if i follow His path..
and insyaAllah with all of my sacrifices especially time and energy...
only for Him...
He rewarding me with this precious moment....
ameen...ameen...
ya rabbal'alamin...
and yesterday...
a friend of mine, named me as AZZA FARIHA..
which means, THE HAPPY AZZA, in Arabic...
and it is true...
i am really happy..
i am...
bcoz of His love....

....THIS IS IT...

do you feel that you are too dissolve in IB???
dissolving yourselves in it...
till you have already forgotten why you are here in this earth...
to be an abid and His khalifah????
please dear.....
dont be like that...
if you want to know bout something....
i'll tell you...
actually..
it is just a process of filtration.....
for Allah to filter who is the best SERVANT of HIM...
"DO YOU THINK THAT I HAD ALREADY CREATED YOU FOR NO REASON AND YOU WILL NOT BE SENT BACK TO US????"
(23:115)
please my dear...
dont be like that....
are you not afraid of HIS HELL????
this is a kind of reminder for me too...
in case that i am too dissolve in IB too...
as being an IB student in sem 3 is a very challenging phase in
maintaining your FAITH!!!!!!
Hadith from our beloved Rasulullah had already said that
"Heaven is surrounded by difficulties while Hell is surrounded by easiness"

it is such a norm for us that it is hard to get such an expensive item..
like if we want gold, we have to go to the gold mining and have to dig...
and keep digging till we found one...
contrast with sand...
if we want sand, just go to the beach and just take it...
what is the most important is that we have to mujahadah..
MUJAHADAH is a way to jihad or fight with our own lust and shaytan...
even if you are smart enough but you did not mujahadah, it is still countless in the eyes of Allah...
let say that you want to wake up in the morning to pray Subuh prayer...
but at the same time your lust ask you to keep sleeping...
if you dont mujahadah at this moment,
you had already have your LUST AS YOUR GOD!!!!

think about it.....
you had already known where is your end (death)..
just have to MOVE YOUR ASS and change...
SHIFT YOUR PARADIGM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HE ALREADY WANNA LEAVE US!!!!

when he first knock our doors..
im just waving him from inside
neither greets nor smile for him..
when he is near beside me..
im just treat him for granted
only to fulfill my satisfaction with a lot of defence mechanism...
defence mechanism.....hmmmm
an excuse to run away from filling IBADAH during his visit...
actually,,,
i DO NOTHING!!!!!
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING..........
it is really true that the CHOICE IS OURS!!!!!!!!
OUR LOVER had already said this in our love letter that He had already give us a gift of GOODNESS AND BADNESS!!!!
(really give me a long thought)
hmmmm
(AS-SYAMS:8)
RAMADHAN is already wanna GO BACK!!!!!!!!

.::NOW I SEE::.

please ALLAH dont leave me....

i've already surrender myself to you..

i dont know wether i've already did it with fullheartedly..

i dont know...

just guide me, please..

dont leave me....

please...

please..

please...

i'm starting to feel the same way......

(93:3)

HE IS NEVER FORSAKEN THEE!!!!!

YOU CAME TO ME!!!

You came to me in that hour of need
When I was so lost, so lonely
You came to me took my breath away

Showed me the right way, the way to lead



You filled my heart with love
Showed me the light above
Now all I want Is to be with you

You are my One True love
Taught me to never judge
Now all I want Is to be with you





You came to me in a time of despair
I called on you, you were there
Without You what would my life mean?
To not know the unseen, the worlds between



For you I’d sacrifice
For you I’d give my life
Anything, just to be with you

I feel so lost at times
By all the hurt and lies
Now all I want Is to be with you





Showed me right from wrong
Taught me to be strong
Need you more than ever
Ya Rasul ALLAH

You came to me
In that hour of need
Need you more than ever
Ya Rasul ALLAH



You filled my heart with love
Showed me the light above
Now all I want is to be with you

You are my One True love
Taught me to never judge
Now all I want Is to be with you



Showed right from wrong
showed me right from wrong

starts to feel it...

You are just Great
You make her came to me
and wake me up
just to let me finish my homework
i dont know
maybe i am starting to feel it
just glad You are doing so
thank You so much
just love the way You guide me
that's all
(maybe im a bit ashame to confess something)
from the bottom of my heart
it is not the first time
You did something like this
lots and lots of times
(^_^)

WITHOUT YOU....

Across the space between
Across eternity
Where love winds a path unseen

Out of the wilderness
You beckoned my every step
I stumbled sometimes and yet
I never once looked back

�Cos I would see
The man I know I used to be
How I was lost before you reached for me
No I don�t know
Where I would go
What I would do

Without You
Without You
Without You

Like a heart between beats
I would feel nothing you see
If you took your love from me
I don�t know what more would life mean?

I'd use my final breath
To call out your name and let
That breath upon the breeze
Rise like a kiss to thee
[ www.thenasheedlyrics.com ]

So you might see
Just what your love has meant to me
And what the cost of losing you would be
No I don�t know
Where I would go
What I would do

Without You
Without You
Without You

�Cos I would see
The man I know I used to be
How I was lost before you reached for me
No I don�t know
Where I would go
What I would do

Without You
Without You
Without You

SHHH!!!!

no matter how far i avoiding You..

You are still following me...

no matter how hard i play with You

You will try Your very best to win over me

You are one of my miracles

i dont know how to say it

You are undescribable.....